A trenc d’alba. 01. Eqvs Llummare. Conception

Catalan original

This song came over 2008 in a very slow way.  Usually, the songs tend to appear suddenly and accidentally if I keep open the channel of communication with the dimension where they live. After many years, I learned to do it with relative ease. Once there, I take them or, rather, I breathe them, they penetrate my body and suddenly they do exist.

Before they do exist in material form, as air that adopts a certain way perceptible to the ear, the songs are manifested as intangible as an image that is at the same time a feeling. Before I take it, I know that song is such a thing because I see it in my imagination, the same way I see any object. But what I see is not the music, melodic and harmonic specific settings, but its image and its feelings. Both things. What kind of image? What kind of feeling? I don’t knows, I can not to explain it, but I know that it has its own life. If I force the issue might be able to display an image or a feeling separately but then the song would not exist, or in any case it would be a bad song, a song without meaning. The song will only be truly such a thing, and then it has meaning, if both things come together at once: image and feeling.

Once you have perceived the image and the feeling of a song, then came inside my body and, from there, I can materialize it in the form of melody, harmony, instrumentation, lyrics, etc.

After many years of writing songs, I travelled farther and farther in the metaphysical dimension of the reality where the music lives. In the case of Eqvs Llummare, I had been perceiving its music for a long time in a very distant and weak point of the horizon. I knew it was there, a long way away in the darkness of my imagination. And at the same time while I detected his presence, a name came to me: llum mare (light mother).

If what I breathe is not music but an image and a sense that after music becomes then, what could be such a thing? Usually we refer to the union of image and feeling with the words meaning and sense. When we compose, when we create something new we necessarily have to present a meaning, a new sense, but to make them understandable we have to do so from existing meanings and senses. To abandon these existing senses and meanings can only lead to madness. Many artists are crazy or committed suicide because they lost connection with the precedent reality. In my philosophical condition, this phenomenon attracts my attention but I can not to explain it better. The ancient Greeks, who also did not know to explain it, say that music, any form of creation comes from the gods through the muses.

A philosophical way, not at all poetical, to say such a thing, and ultimately admit my ignorance, is to attribute to being the will to continue to exist . The creation, the music is being that wants to be (ésser que vol ser) (in Catalan acronym: eqvs).

Eqvs Llummare took shape at the same time with these thoughts. I don’t remember neither how nor when, but suddenly, one day in 2008, Eqvs Llummare already existed. To undo minimally the tautology implicit in the expression being being who wants to be (ésser que vol ser) (in Catalan acronym: eqvs), I associated the term llum mare (light mother). This is one way to attribute to eqvs the responsibility of the creation.

Please, excuse me. After having written these words, I got a little sick. Just now I return.

Estudi quan vivia a Cabrils, on vaig escriure Eqvs Llummare